Episode 8: Legend of Tennessee Moltisanti
Pilot Episode: The Sopranos
Tony: Shit. You better give me your jewelry. Hey, they know we can't produce receipts. You want them stealing the shit from us?
Carmela: I'm not giving you my engagement ring. This isn't stolen. Is it?
Tony: No. What do you think I am?
Chris: Now fill it with cannoli, shfooyadell and napoleons. Give me the box. Next time you see my face, show some respect.
Livia: Did he cheat on you again?
Carmela: I try to do something nice. I come here to take you out, right away you think I have some other agenda that I have to talk you about?
Chris: Says in these movie writing books that every character has an arc . . . Everybody starts out somewheres, then they do something or something gets done to them that changes their life. That's called their arc. Where's my arc? . . . I got no identity. Even Brendan Filone's got an identity, and he's dead. I killed that fuckin' e-mail kolar and nothing, I don't even move up a notch. All I got is nightmares.
. . .
Pussy: You know who had an arc? Noah.
Tony: Grasso. You think it's a coincidence they sent him? If he wasn't Italian he'd be back at the office sweeping up. The stupid jerk. They probably frisk him every night before he goes home. Why? 'Cause he has a vowel at the end of his name. Grasso. What's he think, he's gonna make it to the top by arresting his own people?
Anthony: Is it true that the Chinese invented spaghetti?
Tony: Think about it. Why would people who eat with sticks invent something you need a fork to eat?
Tony: 'Cause this is what it's all about. Motherfuckin' cocksuckin' money, here . . . I don't appreciate feeling like I pour my heart out to a fuckin' call girl.
Dr. Melfi: Is that how you see me?
Tony: Not until now. It's obvious you don't give a shit about my situation or what's happening with me. Otherwise you won't be shaking me down.
Dr. Melfi: It'll show as paid on your next month's bill.
Tony: Fine. Stick it up your ass.
Episode 9: Boca
Sanfillipo: I'll tell everyone you're a good kisser, I just won't say where.
Carmela: Let's just say your uncle has acquired a taste for her.
Tony: Uncle Jun.' gives head?
Carmela: World class.
Tony: The old man's whistling through the wheat field?
Carmela: Don't be disgusting.
Tony: He's a bushman of the kalihari.
Carmela: That's why I don't tell you anything because you don't know when to stop.
Tony: Oh, my god, if this ever gets out.
Carmela: Yeah, like you don't do it or any of your friends. Bunch of hypocrites.
Tony: Hey, what goes on in this bedroom stays here and you know that.
Carmela: Once a year? I can resist the urge to gossip.
Tony: I thought you were a bacala man, uncle jun', what are you doing eating sushi? . . . South of the border, down Mexico way . . .
Junior: Hey listen, my friend... At least I can deal with my own problems. Unlike some I know.
Tony: Carmela. I didn't hurt nobody. Call the shrink. Tell her the town's gonna give her a fucking bonus.
Episode 10: A Hit is a Hit
Paulie: It's the biggest fucking refrigerator you've ever seen.
Tony: What about the other thing?
Paulie: Juan Valdez has been separated from his donkey.
Chris: I'm looking for a burger not converted rice.
Massive Genius: Your woman looks embarrassed.
Tony: You saw my house?
Cusamano's Friend: How real was "The Godfather"? I mean, in your opinion.
Hesh: You're gonna have to find some other schmuck to have your altruistic moment with.
Massive Genius: You know what this means, Herman?
Hesh: Stupid enough to say it over the phone, let's hear it.
Massive Genius: I don't threaten, herman. I act . . . Now, when it comes to which is mightier, the pen or the motherfuckin' sword, I let the situation dictate. I'm gonna do my part to keep mr. Rabkin's people working.
Hesh: What's that supposed to mean?
Massive Genius: Expect to hear from Goldstein, Baum, and Woronov. They'll be representing Ms. Willis in the lawsuit.
Tony: You gonna sue?
Massive Genius: With what I pay in retainers? Fuck, yeah!
Adriana: You just don't want to believe that I could have a relationship with a man like Massive that wasn't based on fucking. That was based on intelligence, respect. Talent. You saying I don't have talent? I branched out. Made new friends. New horizons. And you can't stand that.
Tony: Cooze . . . I need you to hang on this for a while for me . . . In a little while I'll come get it when I need it.
Cusamano: How long?
Tony: A month. Maybe more, maybe less. Okay?